Episode 33…That’s a wrap or maybe a Season?

Just 19 more…

But it just ain’t gonna happen.

No more new episodes for now.

I have decided to finish out the year with reruns of previous episodes.

Maybe we’ll just call that season one. For now.

It’s no one particular thing. Just a mash up of a lot of little things. Sometimes life and technical stuff just are not made to go together.

The additional responsibilities of my new job.

Increased responsibilities at church.

The focus of building my ministry.

Not being able to find convenient times to talk.

Rushing to always get this thing out on time.

In a way it got to be very much like a business.

Sometimes things just have to go away.

What is nice is that the recordings will be there for our girls. I know they don’t really care now. One day they will.

There is sadness. A sense of failure. Some relief.

The next months will be a time to refocus. Reflect on what worked and what didn’t. Where we truly able to help anyone? Why? Why not?

And to answer the hardest question, did Liz or I benefit from it? If so, how? How can we put more of that into our everyday relationship?

Finally, a big thank you to all these who have listened to the journey and lived the ups and downs with us.

I pray that somehow, somewhere, someone got something from this and was able to use something that pushed their relationship forward.

God Bless.


Photo by Kristian Seedorff on Unsplash

Music: Cullah – “Riverse” on “Cullah The Wild” (http://www.cullah.com)
Under license (CC BY SA 4.0) http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/


Episode #32…Forgive Me and this short Post.

No one wants to admit they are wrong. But that is exactly what asking for forgiveness implies.

Your saying that you screwed up!

And sometimes, it is hard for us to forgive. As humans we want to get even. We don’t want someone to be one up on us.

We think forgiveness implies that what someone did is no big deal.

And what if you can forgive but then want that person out of your life completely because you know there is no way the other person is going to change.

Not matter how badly you want them to.

I do like one thing the pastor said.

Forgiveness is not natural. It is supernatural. It is otherworldly. It comes from the Holy Spirit.

Some days I think I have forgiven all those in my past and other days, of course, I am not so sure.

As my wife says, it is a process.

But ain’t that just life.


Music: Cullah – “Riverse” on “Cullah The Wild” (http://www.cullah.com)
Under license (CC BY SA 4.0) http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

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Episode 31…Only the Lonely


Today’s episode does not feature my wonderful wife. Sorry, you just get me.

I promise it is for good reason.

She has been busy. Really busy. The last thing I wanted to do was unindate her with any philosophical questions and deep conversations.

I know she just needs a break. But is not getting one anytime soon.

For the past five days she has been gone anywhere from 12 to 15 hours.

In addition to her regular work schedule, she has been recording a CD with the church and moving her place of business.

I have helped as much as I could. I thought it would also be a big help to just let her be for this episode. I knew I could pull this one off by myself.

So, I reflected mostly.

About what I am trying to accomplish here. What lessons have I learned? What lessons do I need to learn?

When to back off? When to lean in?

I tell why this  is weird. 

See, I am not the guy who needs a lot of attention in a relationship. I am the guy that can lie in bed and just be touching feet in the silence to know that I am loved.

But the past five days have been hard. The communication has been short bursts.

She gets home, I am already asleep.

I leave for work, now she is asleep.

I felt neglected. Not in a bad way. Just a little on the outside looking in. It’s just a short season.

She left the house at 7 this morning just to continue moving her business.

This is after working all week.

This is after rehearsing and recording a CD with the church.

This is after spending five hours helping another lady prepare for a baby shower.

So, I felt like the best thing I could do was just tackle this episode myself and show some praise for all she does.

And it is hard sometimes. Knowing when to back off and when to just let the river rage by and search for calmer waters.

Music: Cullah – “Riverse” on “Cullah The Wild” (http://www.cullah.com)
Under license (CC BY SA 4.0) http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/


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Episode 30…The Check in…

It’s not all philosophical or deeply emotional. 

Sometimes you just try not to lose ground. I have no idea why but, the visual I get is that of World War I trench warfare.

A lot of time is spent waiting.

Waiting to gather the resources

Waiting to gather morale.

Just so you can make that next big push forward. In today’s ratrace it seems that marriages are no different. Don’t get me wrong, I am not suggesting that marriage is war. I am merely suggesting that not everyday is a great leap forward for your relationship.

There seems to be pockets of chances, that if taken advantage of, can push your relationship to the next level. Unfortunately, those kinds of days are few and far between.

The conversations are not always deep.

The I love you’s not always sincere as they could be.

The kisses a little more hurried than they use to be.

So many other things seem to need your attention.

And you just check in. Quick conversation. How’s the  day?

I know because I have done it before.

I tried to spice this one up. This check in was supposed to be about celebration. New beginnings.

Some firsts all around.

It just shows one how difficult and perhaps mundane married life can be sometimes. It’s not all fun, laughs, and hot sex.

Instead of advancing forward, you sometimes just try not to fall back. Keep the ground you have gained at all cost.

And that is simply what the check in is all about.



Music: Cullah – “Riverse” on “Cullah The Wild” (http://www.cullah.com)
Under license (CC BY SA 4.0) http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/


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Episode 29…Bad things…good People???

It is an age old question…

Why do bad things happen to good people?

I’ve had this very conversation with several people. It seems to be the one universal question that Christians and Atheists alike can sit down and talk about and then politely agree to disagree.

Life can be good, not good. Fair, not fair. Why is it that some people seem more predisposed to not good and not fair?

Is it about the choices?

The circumstances?

A documentary I watched recently said that this one question keeps more people atheist and turns former Christians atheist more than any other question about GOD.

How can a GOD who is supposed to be loving and merciful let people languish in a toxic and fallen world?

Why can’t people who love him or choose to do right prosper and live long, distinguished lives? Why would that sam GOD not wipe out the people who deliberately choose to do evil?

As long as we are on this side of eternity, we will never truly know.

Anyone can be taken away at anytime. Perhaps we should pay less attention to the evil ones. Focus on the good ones before their live are cut drastically short.

I don’t have the answer. No one does. We can only choose to keep believing. Holding strong to faith.

The reason I pray the prayer of Jabez is so that I can be free of the evil that exists in this world.

Put your guiding hand over me.

Keep me from evil, so that I feel no pain.


Music: Cullah – “Riverse” on “Cullah The Wild” (http://www.cullah.com)
Under license (CC BY SA 4.0) http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

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Best Friends?!?!…

What is a best friend anyway?  I have never really sat down and tried to tie any real concrete things to one. I had a best friend once. In middle school. That probably was one of two times in my life that I truly talked to someone about anything.

Nothing seemed to be off limits…

If we were doing something, we were doing it together come hell or high water. But it was only for a season.

Is it even possible to have one best friend your whole life? Or do you just get different ones in different seasons.

The thing I wonder most about..

Is it possible for men and women to be best friends?

Honestly, I am still not sure. You see, I get this picture in my head about best friends sitting in front of the television with the pizza box sitting in their undies. One farts. Then the other tries to one up the other one. And around and around it goes until one concedes that the other has the “winning” fart.

I hate conversations like these because I try to put logic behind such seemingly illogical concept. There is nothing concrete about one’s perception of a “best” friend.

That is the one thing I loved about sports and lifting weights. The Numbers. The higher the numbers the better things were. Excluding golf of course.

Sports is tangible.

You can see it.

Feel it.

Smell it.

Hear it.

The numbers won’t lie. You may not like what you see but the numbers reveal something about you as a person. It’s simply quantifiable.

True Friendship on the other hand is not.

It’s just a mess of random emotions about how good or wanted you feel. Then if you live with someone, and in the case of men and woman, have sex it just complicates things even more.

So, I tired of thinking about this and being to much in my own head about it.

I am going to stop digging now.

“Riverse” on “Cullah The Wild” (http://www.cullah.com)
Under license (CC BY SA 4.0) http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/


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As someone raised in the church and saved at age 11 I have done a lot of church. Listened to all types of music and sermons I have long forgotten.

And I dwelled…

Mostly in complacency. Mostly in that happy place. You know that place where you think you are being a good Christian just by showing up on Sundays. Then living Christlike enough the rest of the week.

But that seemed like only half the picture.

With where I am now I am constantly afraid I am not doing enough. That I am not showing up enough. That I haven’t talked enough.

Helped enough.

Praised enough.

Prayed enough.

Volunteered enough.

Lead enough people to Christ.

What is it about pursuing GOD that can seem so thrilling yet leave you questioning at the same time?

The title of this blog comes from a book I read recently. One of six in the past two weeks. A pastor of over 20 years just ups and walks away.

Not from GOD. But from the way he and the people around him were “doing” church.

Is it enough to just show up on Sundays for an hour or so and consider your walk done for the week?

I know I did. For far to long.

Then I took action. Found a groove. Got some mojo going. Started investing more in the church I was attending. Now to be moved again. To things beyond my comfort zone. To the larger world.

Beyond the confines of four walls.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love attending my church. There are some truly amazing people there. But there is something inside me still restless. Stirring. Waiting to be disturbed.

Lord, continue to move me to action. Beyond the confines of four walls. Make me useful. Change live for the better.

Mine included.



Music: Cullah – “Riverse” on “Cullah The Wild” (http://www.cullah.com)
Under license (CC BY SA 4.0) http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/


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Episode 26…Bringing it Together!

Don’t you just love it when a plan comes together?

Or at least that is the goal anyway. Why as mere mortals do we pretend to understand the mystery? Isn’t that what marriage is referred to in the book of Ephesians? That the whole coming together to be one flesh is a great mystery.

So…we have to try and practice…

Practice? Can you really practice marriage. Well? We practice everything else so why not give it a shot.

Why not try to make plan?

And that is where this discussion continues. With an initial plan.

Over the past several weeks we have been discussing what I like to call the five stones of marriage. I won’t say it is full proof and won’t undergo changes over the years. But it is a start.

P.D.A. is an important one. Not your public display of affection but your practical daily application.

Then there is the deep needs. Men and women require different things deep down to feel connected.

So we delve into those as well.

But in the end don’t be to hard on yourself.

This thing called marriage is a great mystery after all.



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Music: Cullah – “Riverse” on “Cullah The Wild” (http://www.cullah.com)
Under license (CC BY SA 4.0) http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

Episode 25…Breakthrough Part 2!?

So…over the last few weeks

We began this journey. Or it at least my wife and I have. And my hope is that other couples have too. I have prayed for walls to come down. In all aspects of my life.




I have taken the last six months to dive deep into reading anything I can about how to build better fathers, husbands, and all around men in general.

This episode continues from last week so I highly encourage you to go back and listen to the previous episode if you have not done so.

We continue to discuss what each of us learned in our last believing couples event and what I have personally placed as guiding stones to a stronger marriage.

Perhaps the breakthroughs have happened and now the commitment needs to be made to achieving lasting change.

It takes two to help each other with this. I have told my wife I need her help. There are two people in this relationship so why not utilize the strengths of the other person instead of trying to do it all yourself.

Photo by Tomas Sobek on Unsplash

Music: Cullah – “Riverse” on “Cullah The Wild” (http://www.cullah.com)
Under license (CC BY SA 4.0) http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

Episode 24…The Breakthrough?! Part 1

Is it just me…

Or does our whole existence seem like one gigantic search? Or 1,000 puzzle pieces and no idea of what the big picture is of what it is we are trying to put together?

We either wait…

Or look for the breakthrough that will change everything.

But when you think it arrives, how can you really tell? Will it be the thing you need to lead to true and lasting transformation? Is this going to be another in a series of letdowns?

This is the first episode in at least a two part series that re-lives a great couples weekend event that felt like a breakthrough for some involved. Myself included.

Over the next few episodes we will journey deeper into the five stones of marriage. Liz and I are trying to find the things that lead to better communication and a greater intimacy.

The connecting is difficult…

At least for me anyway and I feel like it is difficult for most men in general. Men are not only action takers but we are simple. Connecting on deep emotional level is hard because it is not tangible.

You don’t see it. Touch it. Smell it. At least not the way my wife seems to crave it. Sure, there is sex. And a lot of men feel connected through that medium.

But how do we bridge the Gap? That space that exists between the expectations and reality. How can we make it easier for men and women to just be.

We will be exploring that over the next few weeks.

Photo by Jilbert Ebrahimi on Unsplash

Music: Cullah – “Riverse” on “Cullah The Wild” (http://www.cullah.com)
Under license (CC BY SA 4.0) http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/